ACS – No Place For Wimps
The book A Nation of Wimps is the rage in parenting circles! Author, Hara Estroff Marano, recently spoke in both Aspen and Carbondale. The thesis of her book is that invasive parenting is creating a generation of kids unprepared for the challenging, ambiguous nature of real society. Marano cites an alarming mountain of statistics indicating that, once kids leave the protective cocoon of home they fall apart “like a cheap suit.” Marano makes several interesting points that have resonated with me and a few that indicate that ACS is no place for wimps.
Marano’s best argument is that when we unnecessarily shelter kids from the vicissitudes of life we rob them of the rich lessons of self-reliance, independence and resilience. Marano decries parents who over schedule kids, the loss of unstructured free time, and helicopter parents ever ready to rescue their child from every conceivable hardship. Marano blames the public schools for being so focused on academic achievement that art, recess and problem solving have gone out the window. Marano points out that when we shelter and protect kids from failure, we ultimately send a powerful and destructive message: “We don’t think you can handle it.”
After hearing Marano speak at the Aspen District Theater I started thinking about some of the programs at ACS. Activities like Outdoor Education, Celebrate the Beat, Spring Musical, Art Education, the 8th Grade Trip and Portfolio Conferences impel our students to get out of their comfort zone, experience hard work, and see the connection between effort, attitude and success. Sure it’s hard learning to dance, over and over and over. But that’s the point. JKF could have been talking about hiking in Canyonlands when he said: “We do these things not because they are easy but because they are hard.” We don’t expect every student to “enjoy” performing at the Wheeler Opera House in front of 500 people, but we believe the process of overcoming temporary discomfort for the greater goal of self-confidence is worth the risk.
At the end of her book Marano offers these suggestions for parents. Here are a few I liked and intend to use with my kids:
- Let your children play. Allow for unstructured free time for exploration
- Eat dinner together at least five times a week
- Quit hovering over your kids. Let adulthood be fun again
- Stop turning parenthood into a profession
- Teach your kids how to tolerate discomfort
- Encourage your children to problem-solve and take risks
- Allow your kids to fail, to experience discomfort and boredom
- Give your kids increasing responsibility
Interesting stuff. I’d love to hear your feedback jgilchrist@discovercompass.org.
